I am ashamed to be American!

(Image taken from www.rollingstone.com)

I'm sitting here about to throw up. Literally! I'm crying and shaking and devastated. I have allowed myself to forget that we are at War! Real WAR! Not some peace keeping mission that I have imagined but ugly ugly war. And the good ole U S of A is not necessarily the GOOD GUY!

I was 11 or 12 when we started the 1st Gulf War. I remember watching CNN with my momma and seeing the air strike. The night vision made all the missiles look like green balls of light. It was the first realization I had with our military. I began collecting Dessert Storm trading cards. Stormin' Norman was my hero. I wore camo tshirts proudly and became the most red blooded patriot there was. I was PROUD to be American. Our boys, our men, our women, they were protecting the helpless the innocent from a horrible and evil power. We were their saviors. What a crock! The only reason we care about the dessert over there is because we need that thick black gold they live on top of! The terrorists are just making it a little harder and more expensive for us to import our Black Liquid God! As we have shown, with our lack of interest in genocide that is happening all over the African continent, we will only "save" you if you have something we need. We spend somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.5 billion a month on the war and for roughly 2.5 billion we could give all of African a luxury called CLEAN WATER. But those people don't need us, and we certainly don't NEED them.

We the American people have become monsters! We are cursed because of our lack of love for first, our Father in Heaven and Second, our neighbor. We send men and women to defend a place where they believe the people are no more than swine. And that their lives are no more important that a flea. How have we let this happen? Because it doesn't really affect us does it? They are far away in a land that we have no desire to vacation in. To travel to. To love. They are Muslims and not people. They attacked us.... the whole Arab Nation did... they all deserve to die. Is this right? NO! NO! NO! Its so wrong that we all deserve to burn in Hell! We are no different than the horrible Taliban we fight (who we put in power the first time we tried to save the Afghan people)!

The terrorist who attacked us and shook our false foundation believe in something. Its awful and they do horrible things for their belief, but we are worse because we do horrible things because we are apathetic and fear something being too hard or taking to long or costing too much. We don't push our politicians to make changes to make us better stewards of our world and our neighbors. We don't have time, there are movies to watch, basketball games to attend, season tickets to pay for, soft leather hand bags that have to be carried, iPhones to update. We have disconnected ourselves from ANYTHING that doesn't make us feel better about ourselves. And this is why we have invaded countries and we allow our men and women to use elderly and children for target practice and killing as a stress reliever. Yes this is a soap box, yes I am ranting because I have NEVER hated myself as much as I do in the moment and i need to spew this bile in my gut.

Is this why Jesus sacrificed himself and saved us? Is this why we founded a country on God? That is not the God I serve. No wonder we are heading to Armageddon. We are worse than the people God destroyed in the flood... we are lucky Jehovah made a promise to Noah not to smite the whole planet,l or we would be swimming with the fishes in the oil polluted waters!

I accidentally came upon the story linked below, the reason for my middle of the night fury! To be honest I have made it a careful habit to stay away from the news because it upsets my little happy place, my cotton candy world. This is a horrible story straight out of the most psychotic thriller you could ever imagine. Make yourself read it. Make yourself see just what we are letting our military do. Why is there no answer for the sins of our people. We excuse a soldier because of what they go through and it is horrendous. I am thankful to men and women who go into a career that most certainly will at best lead to them witnessing the horrors of war that I can only imagine, for my freedom, but I think we have gotten a little lacks in what is forgivable. Our government needs a collective slap across the face. Be careful all ye Romans!

For those of you who are still reading this post, this article is the worst thing I have read. I even made myself look at the images that undoubtedly will haunt me forever. I don't know what is to be done I don't know where to start. Take the time to look into the eyes of the Children in the photos. These are the children that these men are suppose to be protecting, liberating. Read of the joking and planning to throw candy in front of tanks so they could run these CHILDREN over!!!!!! We may not believe as they do or share any similarities of life with them, but don't forget that they are innocent, and they are human! In the article it is stated frequently that the men in the platoon and in many platoons don't like the people and see them as savages. So that is why they can carry around body parts as trophies after killing a 15 year old farmer in his field.

My sister is 15 and she is a child, I would kill someone if I was told that she was shot 40 times by 2 officers of a military that was "saving me" and then the people who killed her took pictures next to her body holding her head up like she was a prize animal they had just hunted. IF that doesn't make you furious God have mercy on your soul.

I know that this will make people I know and love mad. I know where I live and what we "BELIEVE IN"! I have family who might even disown me for this but I don't care! I refuse to be a part of this silently! I refuse to make excuses for our country sending men and women to become animals who think nothing of killing other humans. I refuse to be quiet why our leaders shove all the ugly under the rug.... the rug is peaking like Mount Everest and its getting a little hard to ignore!

My husband has desperately desired for us to go off grid and only use renewable/clean resources. He has tried get us to a place where we do not fund terrorism by fueling our lives. I have not been whole-heartedly supportive because I want a nice car that isn't too old and had key-less entry... I want the luxury of not having to turn a freaking key!!!! I AM that animal! That changes now! Our government and "We the People" have crushed all hope of renewable energy until it became politically correct and stylish recently. There is nothing available that is modern and reliable without spending at least $60K.... not for at least 2 more years anyhow! We are years behind the smarter less spoilt Europeans! We are killing everything that we can with our sloth-like tendencies. The Gulf, the Oceans, the Innocent People. We are FAT! We are LAZY! We are TOO BUSY! We are A JOKE to the rest of the WORLD! We are a DISAPPOINTMENT to our FATHER! We NEED TO WAKE UP!!!

Please read the article. Please let yourself become enraged! Please do-not ignore this because it is uncomfortable! I support the men and women who serve in our military I just think that they should be held to a reasonable standard of not murdering people for sport. I would never make such a generalization as to suggest that all or even a majority of our service men and women would consider doing anything like this. I know this is the the exception and not the rule. But even a few instances such as these are unimaginable and unforgettable.

Picture if you will a Conservationist who is responsible for protecting the Forrest Kangaroo. This protector is suppose to help repopulate the Earth with this adorable creature so that is will come off the endangered list. For the sake of this story there are only 15 of these amazing creatures left in the entire world. Because the conservationist is sick of living in in the heat and the sand while feeding them, cleaning up after them, and taking care of them; and to be honestly he thinks they are nasty little creatures (hes only there to do his job) he decides to hunt them as open game and then pose with each kill. As a trophy he makes key chains out of the baby Kangaroos paws and shows them to anyone who will look. Don't you think we would have his head for obliterating a whole species and making sport of it? I know I WOULD!!!!!!

Well there are such people...

They call themselves the Kill Team. A few of them will answer for what they have done... but not all! And this is not isolated! Do not be naive and think this is the first or last time this has or will happen. It is WAR! These are WAR CRIMES! If we allow this to happen we cannot be so quick to judge the people of Nazi Germany! We are just as idle...more so because we are aware!

http://www.rollingstone.com/kill-team

The photos are gruesome! If you cant look at them, still go to the link and read the article. The images are not in the article, you have to go to a separate link to see them. They should not be viewed by anyone under 18 without an adult present!!!

Please pray for our soldiers and for the people they are "protecting".

Pray for this nation!

Pray for us all!

Job Seeking!

HELLO WORLD! I am needing a JOB. The whole quitting photography thing doesn't mean I get to check out of the real world (SHUCKS!). I have heard from a very wise source (ah hem Daniel!) that the best way to find a job is to network with your friends and acquaintances so I am doing just that. If you know of any opening please let me know either here in the the comment or email me toni@tonidaniel.com I am willing and ready to work and I even have a pretty impressive resume.... oh lala! And doesn't this photo speak volumes about my professionalism? Who wouldn't want to hire that???!!

Isn't she lovely!

That wasnt and apology but rather a disclaimer! This is Brit my amazing baby sister. Because Im a ditz and took the camera but no CF card to her awards ceremony I was able to shoot zilch of her and her friends at the school. I was really bummed because i am so extremely proud of her and wanted her to be the next in my people I love post, so I went to her house and we had an impromptu shoot in the garage/alley! Hey you work with what you have! We never get to do this and because anytime I have taken photos of her NOONE ever gets to see them I resolved to come home and work on them first thing! I thought she should get to see just how rockin' she is!

Its amazing because I never knew I could love like I love her. Shes 13 so sometimes we butt heads ( I assure you I am never at fault) but still I have an unconditional love for this little PUNK! Having her in my life has been the greatest joy. I thank god daily that he brought us this little angel from heaven. I have never met a person who didnt think she was special and thats because she absolutely is!

As you can see in her eyes she loves with her whole soul and being. As I edited these I was smiling to myself and pretty much almost a sappy babbling idgit! These images of her literally took my breath away. Her inner and outer beauty is captivating! She will be going into 8th grade next year and i am excited for her and hate it all in the same!

I love you B.B. and Daniel & I love you more than you can ever know. Stay the woman that you are always and keep that love for people that radiates from you. Momma would be so happy to see who you are today, you were and still are her angel always! I know that she is so proud of her baby!









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Her with our wonderful dad! Because of him she's a "Little Bit" spoiled BUT I wouldn't have it any other way!!!!!!!!

A Dog's Life....

I have always heard that term... and from the looks of things around here I would give anything to have a dogs life!



I am behind... wayyyyyy behind! So if you feel like I'm taking forever at doing something for you, you are definantly NOT alone, I expect a lynch mob to be arriving soon!



I am trying now in the middle of stress and worry to focus on what makes me happy. The other night while at the Library (something Daniel & I have started to do together) I found a book of Dog portraits... all kinds of Dogs, and my wonderful darling Daniel encouraged me to get it so it would motivate me to get back to taking photos of those I love. There is not time for that. Not space on my hard drive for "personal" things, but for sanity sake I think i will make room somewhere. Who knows buy another hard drive, is 6 really too many?



No offense to my clients but that has been lacking in my life for 7 years now. The more photos I take of strangers the less I take of those love. Its a shame really especially because i deam photos so very important. If you entered my home there are tons of photos of clients and none of family. Hopefully that will soon begin to change. I have a beautiful family and I want to show them off.



So here you go... two of the most important beings in my life. There are hundreds of photos of clients that I would/should share, but i am choosing to be selfish and showing you my babies! They stink (like fritos) and are in desperate need of a bath but they are mine heart and soul!!!



And today at 2:30 I will take photos of my beautiful baby sister getting an award from her school with many other 7th graders. And just for once i will stop her and make her smile in her fabulous new outfit that we spent 3 hrs looking for, with her beautiful hair that I drove to her house at 6:45 this morning to fix. And I will cherish her georgus hazel eyes that will be smiling in embarassment with a hint of gold on the eye lids (make up was at 7:45am). And I will cherish those photos because she will only be 13 years 4 months 17 days old once! And soon those shiny braces that I have yet to take portraits will be off and only a memory. Yeah today is important forever!



And i will look back at the end of this day and sigh because under the stress, and the loss, and the worry, and the back log of work, and the 6ft pile of laundry, and the dirty bathrooms, and the bills, and the to do list, I have a great life with many who love me, and a husband who adores me and aside from that nothing else matters... HEY its a dog's life!

Easter

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Today is about us and our sin and how that sin was abolished by one man. Not any one man but rather God made flesh.

Do you know the real story of Easter? If you do not and would like to, comment, email (toni@tonidaniel.com) and/or facebook me! I would love to share it with you!!!!!! And I promise you will love it!

Happy Easter everyone Our God Reigns!

LIFE....

Hang in there...
sometimes life hands you lemons,

but then you can make lemonade.

Inside:

Of course, sometimes life pulls down you pants, runs a power sander across your naked butt, then pours lemon juice on your raw abrades buttocks.

In that case, a cool citrus drink wouldn't really help but, darn it... you've got to hang in there anyway!

Well I am sure once people see that I have posted head are gonna roll...hahaha i love the element of surprise!

I think Ill start this post off with a card I bought for someone who is very special in my life and it kinda sums up things for my life as well....

HAHA I have an odd sense of humor, but that pretty much sums up life right?

Most know that a lot has happened in my life that has changed me and my family. Some good some not so good but I think it all has been a lesson from our savior. And over the last 2 years I have taken a long look at me and who i am and who I want to be. For many years I have been a "photographer" with everything in me. When I meet friends of friends the introduction has always been this is my photographer friend Toni that I told you about. i havent minded infact I love when people tell others about me (I have no shame). But it has been my whole being and what has defined me. I am feeling a need for some change, I will no longer be a photographer for hire. It has been an amazing 7 years. I have met and worked with extraordinary people. I have learned my limits as well as what I am capable of. I have impressed and dissappointed myself and many others. And I have worked until my health, life & family have suffered! =As I turned 25 (for the 5th time) this year I thought about how i want the next 10 yrs to go. Less work more play...hahaha I'll admit it... I'm a slacker. I have a wonderful husband who for unknown reasons likes to spend time with me... and I think Im going to try and make him tired of me... ;p!

I have been so blessed that God allowed me to have success in doing something that I love. I also believe there is a season for all things and I think this season is ending.

What does this mean for my past/current clients? Absolutely nothing! All products that have or will be ordered will still be fufilled (I am keeping ties with my lab and album companies). The website will stay live for at least the next year. Galleries will be available for at least the next 6 months. I am even thinking of blogging all the great stuff I have never blogged once I am all caught up. Actually I think I will be better to my clients because I will no longer be overwhelmed with new sessions, weddings or events and will be able to get each of you the time and attention you have needed and deserved. If you have been waiting on me for something I will be contacting you very soon. I have been steadly working on all the orders/albums that are due.

There are some of you who I have discussed this with already who i expressed interest in my shooting for you and your expanding families and i would love to. I love the relationship that I have built with so many of you and would hate the thought of not watching your familes grow up. So feel free to call/email and it will just depend on where my life is at that season.

Thank you all so much for trusting me with your most precious memories and thank you more for the friendships that have followed. Thank you for your patience and I am sorry that patience was required of you.

Although a HUGE chapter of my life is closing I am so excited to write the next one. Please keep in touch and if you have any questions let me know. Thank you again for letting me into you lives, it has given me something to look forward to for my own.

God Bless!

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